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44. King James Murders the Earl of Douglas, Stirling Castle, Scotland 1452

After King James I stabbed William Douglas 26 times, at Stirling Castle, he got thrown out the window. This is, we gather, the window. Now it has a stained glass Douglas coat-of-arms. The place where the body landed is covered with paving tiles and has a monument. You can go see these things, if you go to Stirling.

If you are an Earl, and you are sent a safe conduct pass to go talk to the King, you’re safe, right? You can go meet them, and calmly discuss that alliance you made with a couple of other noblemen, one that is not in favor of the king and his kingly position. Calmly, yes, and then you can go home. Unless it’s 1452, and you’re in Scotland, and you’re one of the Douglases, and the king is known for having a very bad temper. In which case you might get stabbed 26 times and thrown out a window. Really, given Scots history before that, one might have been able to predict that; noblemen getting stabbed despite their safe conduct passes is sort of a theme.

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43. St. Columba Violates Nonexistent Copyright Laws and Starts a War, Movilla Abbey, Ireland 560

The Royal Irish Academy, Dublin, holds the Cathach of St. Columba (RIA MS 12 R 33), which might be the book that St. Columba copied secretly, which might be the reason that the Battle of Cúl Dreimhne started, which was probably why St. Columba was exiled from Ireland and ended up in Scotland. We can ask ourselves, what might have happened if he’d actually asked permission to copy the book? And we will never know.

It’s very rude to copy books secretly whilst staying with one of your old teachers, even if you are very careful not to harm the books, and don’t use cheese sandwiches as bookmarks. That’s what we learn from this episode. Also that the ancient kings of Ireland liked to use cattle as examples of just about everything. And that the O’Neills were willing to go to war with the High King over a book. Michelle and Anne discuss the meaning of copyright law, which really has nothing to do with copying a manuscript in 6th century Ireland. Though to every cow belongs her calf, and to every book its copy. We guess. In good news, there’s no torture. Though there are some deaths — about 3,000, at the Battle of the Book. Darn.

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42. Special Episode: Christopher Marlowe is Assassinated, Deptford, England, 1593

The famous portrait of Christopher Marlowe might not be him at all. Of course. It was found under some rubble at the Master’s Lodge at Corpus Christi College, Cambridge, where Marlowe was a student, and it has an inscription saying that it’s 1525 and the sitter is 21, and Marlowe was that age at that time. The incredible sumptuousness of the clothing is an issue, though; Marlowe, theoretically, could not have afforded that outfit. Nor would he have been technically allowed it, since it would have denoted someone of higher class than he. But Marlowe was already working for the government, and Marlowe never minded silly things like rules. And lord knows he had attitude.

At the end of May 1593, the most important and influential playwright in England died at the age of 29. Rumor and gossip and a great many history books and literature collections would say, over the centuries, that he died in a tavern brawl. To be fair, his earlier history with drunken brawl involvement makes this plausible. But the evidence — or rather, the lack of evidence — given at the inquest makes it clear that he was being got rid of. Oh, besides being a writer, he was involved in Walsingham’s Elizabethan espionage net. There’s that. In this special episode, stepping out of the middle ages and into the early modern era, we discuss the evidence. Also Michelle has found some musicals. Yikes.

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